Article-Psychosocial Services
Making your move less stressful…
By Capt JND Blackburn,
Psychosocial Services / Mental Health
Let’s be honest, a move is by nature a stressful event. Some studies show that moving ranks third, after death and job loss, in regards to stress factors and vulnerability. A move is, in fact, a loss of a certain life style. As military members, we tend to focus on the physical aspect of a move and disregard the emotional aspect of it. A move to Europe adds a number of challenges and issues to the experience. The same is true when moving back to Canada after having spent a few years in Europe. Canada continued to evolve after your departure and you might find some social aspects have changed since you left. This article is meant to help you to consider the emotional aspects of a move and to set up some simple steps that can be of assistance when the time comes.
Within the Canadian Forces, the families and the military members are required to move on a regular basis. This accumulation of experience irrefutably helps with the preparation and administration of a move. It is simpler for us to focus on the physical aspects of it rather than the emotional ones. And yet, the emotional (or people-based) aspects have a great impact on the member, his/her spouse and, of course, the children.
For the youngster who will have to leave the home environment, the school, friends and landmarks, a move can become quite upsetting. The child will worry more about what will affect him/her personally and emotionally, i.e. losing friends, than the size of the backyard at the new home.
First, it is necessary to mourn the loss of your current environment. Take time to meet with your neighbours, the merchants you used to visit, go around your house and allow yourself to travel down memory lane for a few minutes before closing the door for the last time. This exercise may seem trivial but it will help to reduce the culture shock you will experience once your arrive (?) in your new environment. Accepting that you are leaving your current environment will prevent you from making comparisons (which are often unfair) with the new one. Use a similar ritual with the children for their friends and school. Furthermore, try to focus on the positive aspects of the move.
Secondly, the adjustment to the new environment is not an overnight process. It may take weeks or even months to feel comfortable in it. With varying intensity, the culture shock is experienced by all military members and families posted to Europe. This is very normal. It is the same for members and families returning to Canada. In order to make it easier for yourself, take advantage of the move to clean up, not only your belongings but also your life. Take time to learn about your new environment. As soon as you get there, do not hesitate to go out to explore the area, speak to people, establish landmarks and register with social or sports clubs. The more time you spend doing your “homework”, the easier the integration and adaptation will be. Often, the unknown is the stress factor so by learning as much as possible about your new environment you can eliminate some stressors.
Thirdly, it is imperative to support the children and teenagers during this important change concerning their environment. “Leaving school, teachers, friends… Just like adults, some children and teenagers may feel destabilized in regards to a move or, on the contrary, may feel happy about an exciting new adventure. It is best to take them along during this endeavour and show them the new house, find new shops, the school, the gym, movie theatre… in a nutshell, all the key places that will provide everyone his/her new landmarks.”» .
Relatively speaking, a move can be a positive experience for every family member, even if it. is a stressful event To achieve this and to make your life simpler when the time comes, follow these simple suggestions and basic advice. Of course, the CF will help you with the physical and administrative aspects of your move, but you have the responsibility in regards to the emotional and personal aspects. Therefore, you have to do your “homework” to help you make the transition. Do not ever forget that knowledge is an irrefutable ally and can help balance the stress level caused by your move and its implications. Therefore, “how we perceive a stress-provoking event and how we react to it determines its impact on our health. We may be motivated and invigorated by events in our life or we may see some as “stressful” and respond in a manner that may have a negative effect on our physical, mental and social well-being. By understanding ourselves and our reactions to stress-provoking situations, we can learn to handle stress more effectively”. .
For all of you who are coming to Europe or those who are going back to Canada, I wish you a very positive move and hope it will go as smooth as possible!
Written in Geilenkirchen, Germany, 22 May 2009.
1-2 Canadian Mental Health Association, 2009. Coping with stress, www.cmha.ca consulted on 20 April 2009.
